Plotting by Grand Design a Current Relationship
by belladonnacordial
Summary: SLASH Severus Snape decides to help Harry Potter the Slytherin way, by getting what Severus Snape wants. What he wants and how he gets it are sweet and old fashioned even by Wizarding standards. Warning! License taken with Muggle concepts of Chivalry!
1. Of Grace and Falling

Plotting By Grand Design A Current Relationship

Prologue- Of Grace And Falling

_The actual tragedies of life bear no relation to one's preconceived ideas. In the events, one is always bewildered by their simplicity, their grandeur of design, and by that element of the bizarre, which seems inherent in them- Jean Cocteau_

Snape would never say that he knew the corridors of Hogwarts like the back of his hand. It would do a disservice to one of his own body parts which from time to time have been known to pleasantly surprise him, often saving him from being surprised- or worse. Years of spying had given him the sort of stealth that did not die with Voldemort. He could walk undetected to and from any part of the castle, wrapping shadows around himself by day or slicing the darkness by night. He was especially fond of walking the castle through the deep silences of the pitch black after-curfew hours, as many a wayward student learned the hard way. Though Snape would never credit what passed as student humour with the level of wit or insight required, he was not compared to a bat based on his startling resemblance to vampires, either the magical creatures or the flying mammals, as often as he was compared to the same because of his out-of-thin-air appearances among crowds of half-blind, distracted, easily spooked students who made poor witnesses but whispered, and when they did, wildly exaggerated. He had heard their whispers. He did not mind.

It was on one such night-time excursion as Snape stalked silently through black corridors of little used classrooms that he heard the unmistakable sounds of young men and sex. Though Snape tried to ignore what little he knew about the sex lives of those in his charge, it was his duty, or so he was often told, to at least make an effort to enforce curfew- as if he did not have enough to do.

He entered the classroom unnoticed by its current occupants- no surprise there- and watched the proceedings for several seconds until he gleaned the truth of the situation: Harry Potter, Savior of the Wizarding World, was servicing two other seventh years simultaneously as an exhausted and sated Justin Finch-Fletchley looked on while smoking.

"Misters Finnigan, Boot, Finch-Fletchley, and Potter- dress immediately. Twenty points from each your Houses for the breaking of curfew. Mr. Finch-Fletchley, I am confiscating those Muggle death sticks. Leave them on the desk to your right. No, your -other- right. Since you have already punished your own lungs, more than even I would deem necessary, I take no further points for your towering and self-destructive stupidity. Do not bother to thank me. Mr. Potter, you will remain. When I tell you three to go, you shall return swiftly and directly to your rooms and never in your wildest dreams believe that you have suffered the brunt of the punishment that I will exact for having to witness this- in-dis-cre-tion. Get out."

This was one of Snape's favorite techniques. Merely promised a horrible punishment they might successfully avoid Snape for months, at least those not in his seventh year Potions class. The ones in class might behave themselves for weeks before he need remind them that their offenses were not forgotten. When three frightened seventh years had fled under his glaring gaze, Snape turned back to Harry.

"Explain yourself, Potter. Why are you so intent on playing school broom?"

Potter looked sullen. His cheeks were flushed. He set his jaw and met Snape's eyes.

"That is none of your concern, sir."

"It was not, all those times you managed not to get caught past curfew. Now, it is."

"Sir, I-"

"Yes?"

"I just needed to feel something."

"Something worthwhile, I take it?"

"Yes."

"Do you feel something worthwhile now, Potter, or do you feel used, discarded, and empty?"

A single tear ran down Potter's cheek. He wiped it away with the back of his hand and said nothing.

"Do you know why you feel nothing worthwhile, Potter?"

"Yes sir."

"Pray impress me with the depths of your self-knowledge."

"Because I am empty, sir."

"No. You are looking for meaning, Potter. You can not find that servicing your so-called friends' sexual needs. Why do you do it?"

"Because they let me, sir."

"What do you get out of it?"

"When I- when it's happening, I don't feel numb anymore."

"You feel alive?"

"Yes sir."

"Bulletin, Potter, you are alive. It is Voldemort who is dead. He was not the sole purpose of your existence."

"But, no one ever said that. Before."

"Some truths are self-evident. It would seem Miss Granger was under the mistaken impression that you were intelligent enough to arrive at such an obvious conclusion on your own."

"Right. Not like you care."

"Yet I stand here wasting my breath and my evening -talking- to you? Yes, I do see your point. Know this, Potter, your friends can not help you. They have -nothing- with which to compare your experiences. Even if they had, you are not eloquent enough to explain to them how to help you, even if you knew which you clearly do not. I do know. When you recover from this childish need for self-pity, you may come to my office during office hours. Now get out."


	2. Of Ruins and Rebuilding

Plotting By Grand Design A Current Relationship

Chapter One- Of Ruins and Rebuilding

_See first that the design is just: that ascertained, pursue it resolutely, __do not for one repulse forego the purpose that you resolved to effect- Shakespeare_

A week later, Potter showed up at Snape's office. It was a large space, as was typical with dungeon rooms, though only a small section of it was furnished. Facing the fireplace, which was not lit, was one large comfortable looking chair. The upholstry may have been black, gray, blue or green, hundreds of years ago when it was new. Now, though it was thread bare only in places its exact color was rather hard to distinguish.

While there was no visible light source Harry could see perfectly well. He figured the light in the room was a charm of some kind. There were several large bookcases lining the walls. Some held books. Most were filled with potions bottles, wooden boxes, skulls of animals, collecting jars, and cauldrons made of various materials, including one carved in green jade. To the left of the locked cabinet where Snape kept expensive and hard to acquire potions ingredients, stood a large aquarium filled with leeches. Nothing in Snape's office looked the least bit out of place, except for Harry. Facing the door was Snape's desk. Snape sat behind it writing. He did not pause and did not look up. "What do you want, Potter?"

"Sir- you said- I thought you- um. Well, you see, sir-"

Snape set his quill down and with a wave of his wand cleared his desk of what he had been working on.

"Perhaps you could manage to point and grunt?"

"You said that you could help me, sir."

"Indeed. Sit."

Harry looked around confused until he saw that a chair had appeared directly behind him. He sat. "Thank you."

"Are you familiar with the ancient wizarding practices involving Chivalry, Potter?"

"No sir."

"It seems you pay the same rapt attention in Professor Binns' classes as you do in Potions."

"Yes sir."

"One of the principle concepts was that of Courtly Love."

"Like the Muggle singer?"

"No Potter, not like the Muggle singer. Basically, a suitor proved his worth to his beloved by the way of some test- battling a giant, slaying a dragon, hacking other wizards to pieces, that sort of thing. I propose that you prove your worth to me since we have had feelings for one another since your fifth year." Amazing what one learns teaching Occlumency.

Snape said nothing waiting for Potter's denial. Potter said nothing, nor did his expression change. Since Potter said nothing, Snape continued.

"We will proceed as follows, providing that you agree- the period of the test will last until your graduation. During that time, I do not expect to find you in a situation similar to that in which I found you last week. In fact, you will extend sexual favours to no one, nor will you engage in acts of self-gratification."

"But sir!"

"Potter?"

"I just don't know if I can- I mean, the not wanking part, sir."

"If you can not agree to my test, then clearly you are not a worthy suitor. You may leave."

"No! I agree, sir, to your terms."

"Fine. You will also prove yourself worthy of my attentions by fulfilling our current relationship- with care and devotion not previously bestowed upon me."

"What does that mean, exactly?"

"What is our current relationship, Potter?"

Confused silence reigned.

"That of student and teacher, Potter."

"Oh, yes sir. I see."

"Unlike the tests of old, I suggest we even the field. I am happy to prove my worth simultaneously as your suitor, under the all the same conditions. Does that concur with your Gryffindor sense of fairplay, Potter?"

"Um, can't you call me Harry?"

"No, as I have not yet earned that right. Before our relationship progresses, we both must pass the test."

Harry smiled for the first time since Voldemort fell.

"So you mean to fulfill our current relationship with, what was it? Care and devotion? As a teacher? You, sir?"

"You will spend your free time here in my office. I will tutor you in Potions as well as your other subjects in preparation for your upcoming N.E.W.T.s. The last provision is absolute secrecy. This will be a contract between the two of us. You are now 17, and, as foolish as the law may seem, are deemed an adult wizard. Neither of us will tell anyone about this contract, nor disclose the nature of our agreement."

"What do I tell Ron and Hermione?"

"You may tell anyone who asks that I am tutoring you for N.E.W.T.S. That is all that you may tell anyone. Do you agree to the terms, Mr. Potter?"

"Yes sir."

Snape made a gesture in the air. There was a flash. A piece of parchment appeared. He pushed it across his desk to Harry.

"Read it, thoroughly, and sign where it says 'student' should you choose to proceed."

Harry read the contract which was no more and no less than the test and its conditions as Snape had outlined.

"Do I need to sign in blood, or anything?" Yet another post-Voldemort smile graced Harry's face.

"Ink is quite sufficient."

Potter signed and pressed the parchment back to Snape who signed and made another gesture. There was another flash. The contract disappeared.

"So when do we start?"

"We have started, Mr. Potter."

The next day, in the Great Hall, Potter told Granger and Weasley about his arrangement with Snape to receive intensive tutoring. Hermione took it well.

"But why the greasy git, Harry?" Ron whined.

"He offered. Look Ron, I've been distracted. My marks reflect that. I want to do well on N.E.W.T.s. All the rest of the professors let me slide just because I killed Voldemort. Snape never even said thank you, never mind raising a test score, or letting me out of a paper. He is sure to work me to death preparing for N.E.W.T.s. He will make me pass or kill me trying."

"I suppose. Want to play some Exploding Snap later?"

"Can't. Have to report to Snape."

"It's Friday!"

"Think he cares?"

"Harry, this is wonderful! Snape doesn't have to do this, you know. I just wish you'd taken school this seriously ever since first year."

"Thanks Hermione. Me too."

After Harry's last class, he reported to Snape's office.

"Mr. Potter. You are on time. Today, I will lecture on the History of Magic from the time of the First Goblin Rebellion up to the Great Goblin Civil Wars. Professor Binns has informed me that period is the greatest of several gaps in your knowledge of the subject."

Harry listened intently. Snape's velvet and honey baritone was far more pleasing to listen to than Binns' dusty monotone. Sometime over the course of the next three hours, Harry finally learned the differences between the various Goblin Wars, Goblin Rebellions, Goblin Revolts, Goblin Uprisings, Goblin Civil Wars, and Goblin Auror Actions.

Snape summoned a House Elf and requested dinner for two brought to his office. Since the fare was appreciably better than what they usually brought him, Snape put up with the elf fussing and gushing over Mr. Harry Potter.

"Thank you, sir."

"For what?"

"For today, sir. I think I learned more in the last three hours, than in the last seven years with Binns."

"Professor Binns, Potter. You are most welcome. You may spend the evening doing either revision or assigned readings."

"Yes, sir."

"I will be reading. However, I remain available in case you have questions."

"What? You'll help me with my homework, sir?"

"I won't do it for you, Potter. I will spell, oh, prestidigitation, should the necessity arise."

"What does that word even mean, sir?"

"There is a mystical beast called a dictionary. It lives on that shelf, there."

"I can see that you intend to be a big help, sir." There was Potter's smile again. Snape wondered if he would ever get used to seeing it.

"It means legerdemain, Potter."

"Which means?"

"Sleight of hand, tricks, deceit. Think of a muggle magician."

"Oh, a very Slytherin word, then."

"Yes."

"I like it."

"Work, Potter."

"Yes sir."


	3. Of Faults and Foundations

Plotting By Grand Design A Current Relationship

Chapter Two- Of Faults and Foundations

_When a man adheres to a design, either the design or the man will be changed- Buckminster Fuller_

The schedule varied. Sometimes they would eat in Snape's office together or separately in the Great Hall. Sometimes Snape dismissed Harry early or quite late. Usually there was a lesson of some sort. From time to time, they prepared potions together. At other times, they only read. When they talked, they discussed a great many subjects, usually related to Harry's studies. Infrequently, they talked about other things, like literature and philosophy, that while scholarly in nature, seemed to Harry to have no direct connection to his N.E.W.T.s.

Much later than he was expecting, Snape was summoned to Dumbledore's office.

"Take a seat, Severus. You are looking well! Tea? A Lifesaver, perhaps?"

Snape looked down disdainfully at a dish of rather garish, sticky-looking Muggle candies.

"No. Thank you."

"May I say how pleased I am that you have taken Harry under your tutelage. All of his classes, but most especially Potions and the History of Magic, have shown a marked improvement!"

"Yes."

"Is there anything you would like to tell me, Severus?"

"One of my first year Slytherins, a Miss Fairweather, doesn't appear to be a complete dunderhead when it comes to beginning brewing techniques."

"I'm well aware of Miss Fairweather's promising potion-making skills. I meant about Harry."

"No revelations leap to mind. Perhaps you might consider formulating particular questions in your intrepid search for answers?"

"As you know, teacher-student romances while uncommon, are not entirely discouraged- not in every case, at least."

"Was that meant to be a question, Albus? I'll spare you rephrasing it as such. Potter is my student. I am his teacher. That is the nature of our relationship. I will say the same under Veritaserum."

"Of course you would, Severus! What's more, we both know that what you would say under Veritaserum in this case, would be true! I only bring it up because I approve of what you have done for young Harry. He- was- so very lost- only weeks ago."

"Perhaps there is something else you wish to discuss?"

"There are many things I'd love to discuss with you, Severus. Unfortunately, some of those events haven't happened yet; and some of those conversations have already taken place, in which case, I'd be repeating myself. For now, I'll let you get back to your beloved dungeons. Well done, Severus! Well done in deed!"

"Ever interesting, Headmaster."

As the weeks passed, the school noticed a great change in the both of them. Harry, when his friends did get to see him, seemed more relaxed and happy than they ever remembered him being. Had Harry's other professors not known of Snape's tutoring sessions, they would have thought Harry was a Polyjuiced impostor. Likewise, seventh years hardly recognized Snape in N.E.W.T. Level Potions. "He was nearly -bearable- today!" a surprised Hermione remarked one day after class, when they were well away from the dungeons.

It was another Friday, with only a month before N.E., that Harry reported to Snape's office as usual to find Snape in a mood that Harry did not, at first, recognise.

"I just graded the written part of the N.E.W.T. Level Potions exam from yesterday. You received top marks tying with Miss Granger. You beat Mr. Malfoy by a single point. I am very proud to be your teacher, Mr. Potter."

Harry collapsed to his knees.

"Mr. Potter-"

All the stress, deaths, threats, the war, the loneliness- none of it had caused the dam to break. What Snape had said meant to him so much more than he could seem to bear hearing.

"Mr. Potter-"

Snape offered him a handkerchief and a hand up from off the floor. Harry took both.

"Sorry, sir."

"No need."

"Thank you, Professor. For everything."

"Perhaps you should take the day off, Potter," Snape said, prying his hand back.

"I'd rather stay here with you, sir. That is, if you don't mind. I could read quietly?"

"Very well."

Snape read a study on the magical properties of certain species of recently discovered Brazilian rainforest insects, wondering whether they would all be extinct before he could get his hands on a sufficient quantity for the purposes of experimental potions-making. After perhaps an hour, Snape took a moment to notice then to ignore the fact, that Harry was now curled like a large cat on the floor around the legs of Snape's chair studying for Transfigurations. When Harry fell asleep there, Snape transfigured a couch, mobilicorpused him to it, and tossed a blanket over him. That was where Harry awoke just after curfew.

"I trust you can make it back to the towers without stepping on Mrs. Norris?"

"I think so, sir."

"If Mr. Filch does catch you, you may advise him to bring you to me."

"Yes sir, thank you. He won't. Catch me, I mean. You're the only one who did."

"Goodnight then, Mr. Potter."

"Sir?"

"Mr. Potter?"

"How did Malfoy lose that point?"

"He seems to be labouring under the misapprehension that an ordinary cauldron is sufficient for the preparation of Eleusinian Mystery Tonic."

"Did he actually say that, sir?"

"No, unfortunately for Mr. Malfoy, he failed to specify otherwise."

"Don't worry, Professor. I won't torture Malfoy with the knowledge of his mistake."

"Thank you for leaving that particular pleasure to me, then. Get out, Mr. Potter."

"Goodnight, sir."

On the evening before the start of Harry's N.E.W.T.s, he went to Snape's office, because he didn't want to go anywhere else.

"We have completed this portion of our agreement, Mr. Potter. As such, you are no longer required to come here. If you imagine that you can stuff something useful into that head of yours at the very last moment, that has not managed to find its way there over the course of the past seven years, I would suggest the library, as a convenient place to do so."

"I'd rather stay here with you, sir. Unless, you'd rather be alone. I don't mean to disturb you."

"After seven years of constant disruptions, you suddenly worry about disturbing me? Wonders never cease."

"What are you doing, sir?"

"At least my wonder was short-lived. I am writing, Mr. Potter."

"Writing what?"

"A book, if you must know."

"You're writing a book? I think that is wonderful, sir! What kind of book?"

"Ten guesses, Mr. Potter."

"I Was a Teen-aged Death-Eater?"

"Twenty five guesses."

"Is it a potions text, sir?"

"Correct."

"I'd like to read it."

"I very much doubt that. However, you may feel free to read a copy, when it is finished, published, and paid for by you at Flourish and Blotts."

"I promise I will read it. I'm sure it's brilliant. How could it not be? How long have you been working on it?"

"My entire life, with the exception of the first five years, or so."

"You're joking!"

"Not really, no."

"You've been making potions since you were five?"

"No. I have kept records of my experiments since I was five. I was making potions long before then. The first book I ever read on my own was my mother's first year Potions book, the one she had used at Hogwarts. It is out of print now, and should be, given its many flaws. Still, the subject of potions has fascinated me ever since."

"I didn't have any toys, either, sir."

"I do remember, Mr. Potter."

"You are really lucky, to have a life-long interest, a passion, like that."

"Yes."

"Sir, what happens now? With our agreement, I mean."

"You take N.E.W.T.s and, unlikely as it may once have seemed, will graduate, Mr. Potter."

"After that?"

"You will have to decide what you want out of life."

"I'm not used to that- the luxury of making my own decisions."

"That would make two of us."

"Do you- do you still want me, sir?"

"Yes."

"I think about you all day. I dream about you. My last nightmare wasn't about Voldemort or the war. I came here and couldn't find you. I looked all over the castle, the grounds, the forest. I never did find you. Anyway, about our agreement, you never ask me about it. I hope it means that you trust me. If you ever do wonder, I want you to know that I never broke a single rule. I never wanted to, sir. I'm very proud that you chose me to be your student."

"You have proved that, Mr. Potter, or nearly so."

"Not until my graduation?"

"Correct."

"Should I get out, now, sir?"

"No."

Snape retrieved a small vial from his desk drawer. He handed it to Potter.

"What's this?"

"Memory Ease Potion."

"Um, did we cover this in class, sir?"

"No, we did not."

"What does it do?"

"It enables the rapid recall of any fact stored within the wizarding brain."

"Is it- is this legal, sir?"

"Define legal."

"Can I use it for N.E.W.T.s without going to Azkaban?"

"You have a most dramatic sense of the illegal, Mr. Potter. Since I am the only person who knows how to make it, or even that it exists, except for the multitude of Slytherin who have, throughout the years used it before taking O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s, and have not made public that fact, it is not illegal. Therefore, one might assume that it is legal."

"You designed this potion?"

"I did, when I was about your age."

"So every year you've helped Slytherins cheat on their tests with this?"

"It does not put information into the brain, Mr. Potter. It only makes information that is already there easier to access. It is not a cheat- anymore than the drinking of coffee to stay alert."

"How very Slytherin of you, though, sir, to provide it only to other Slytherins."

"As Head of Slytherin House, Slytherins are the only ones with whom I need concern myself."

"Why are you giving it to me?"

"Think of it as another decision, one that is yours to make. You may take it. You may return it. You may take it, and choose not to use it. The luxury of this choice is entirely yours."

"So it's two, no five gifts in one, then. Well, as least five."

"Why five gifts, Mr. Potter?"

"At least five. It's a very pretty bottle, even if it weren't, I'd keep it because you gave it to me. So that's one. Two, there's what the potion does. If I use it, and let's face it, I'd be mad not to, you are gifting me with it's use. Then as you said, there is the gift of my choice. That's three. Four, you are trusting me that I won't do something stupid with it that will cause you trouble. Five, is sort of a catch all for what ever you had to do in order to make the potion, the time, the effort, the cost of ingredients. Some of them might have been hard to get. You may have collected them yourself. No one has ever given me a potion as a gift. It's romantic, sir, in the sort of way that handmade gifts always are. Anyway, that's why I said at least five. How should I use it?"

"Ingest two drops, only two, Mr. Potter. More will have no further effect. Should you choose to use it, take it one hour before the start of each N.E.W.T. Accelerated recall lasts about four hours, after taking effect. There is more than enough to last the week. If you use it, keep what is left. It stores well."

"Will coffee help too?"

"One cup, every three hours. More than that may be a disadvantage."

"What else?"

"You will do well."

"Only because of you, sir. Thank you five times over for the cheating potion!"

"Get out."

"Going, sir."

"Good luck, Mr. Potter."


	4. Of Angels and Architecture

Plotting By Grand Design A Current Relationship

Chapter Three- Of Angels and Architecture

__

_A common mistake that people make when trying to design something foolproof is to undestimate the ingenuity of complete fools- Douglas Adams_

During his first N.E.W.T. on Monday, Harry's brain galloped like a racehorse where once a tired and rather bored carthorse ambled along. His mind seemed so unbelievably well organized too! He wondered if this were what it was like to be a Snape or a Granger. Gods! What could either of them do after two drops of Memory Ease? He finished his History of Magic N.E.W.T in good time and left early. Looking back over his shoulder he saw that most students were still writing away madly or sucking on quills trying desperately to summon specific names of Goblins long dead- like Hfthyrth the Unforgiving or Hrystfrth the Unforgiving, who in retrospect, may have been even more unforgiving. Harry looked forward to the end of his first day of N.E.W.T.s mainly so he could talk to Snape about it.

After his last N.E.W.T on Friday which was the practical test for Defense Against the Dark Arts Harry returned as usual to Snape's office.

"I did not expect you, Mr. Potter."

"You've said that every day this week, sir. I'm beginning not to believe you. Why would you even be here if you weren't expecting me?"

"This is my office, Mr. Potter. I do keep regular office hours for the benefit of all Hogwarts students. Thankfully, I am seldom trespassed upon by the rest of you."

"Funny that, considering most are terrified to come anywhere near you."

"What? Even brave Gryffindors?"

"Oh yeah, especially some of us!"

"Always nice to hear that teaching has not been a complete waste of my life."

"Though I never thought I'd hear myself say it- you are a brilliant teacher, sir."

"I take it your last tests went well? Did you choose to try the potion, by any chance?"

"Of course! I took it before every single N.E.W.T. I do have some intelligence, sir, no matter how well I hide it."

"I see. How did you find the Memory Ease Potion?"

"Dug around in my pocket for it!"

"Keep trying, Mr. Potter. You may inspire me to smile, one day."

"I want to make you to laugh one day. I know I'll do it, too. Probably not when I'm trying to be funny, though. Gave up on that hope weeks ago. But to answer your question, sir, the Memory Ease Potion worked amazing well. I feel confident that I got an E or better on all my N.E.W.T.s. Scary as it is, I'm fairly sure I got an O in Potions! Of course, I didn't bother to sit for Divination. I'll never find anything but tea at the bottom of a tea cup. I wouldn't even know I had a future, never mind how to find it, if it weren't for you. I can't thank you enough for all you've done for me, Professor."

"Mr. Potter, there is no such thing as Memory Ease Potion."

"What? That's not possible, sir!"

"I assure you, it is. It is so possible, that it is a certainty."

"I don't believe it. You're having me on!"

"Do you require Veritaserum or would you like to try your luck as a Legilimens?

"Well that was bloody sneaky even for a Slytherin!"

"Thank you. Congratulations, Mr. Potter. I hope your N.E.W.T.s will open many doors for you. Not that many a door could withstand the Savior of the Wizarding World should he ever manage to trip his way to the doorstep then deign to knock."

"What kind of potion was that, then?"

"It was a placebo."

"Even your placebos taste horrible!"

"I find that an interesting flavour adds to the illusion of reality."

"I'm glad, sir. I had a lot of fun thinking that I was cheating. If I had cheated, though, I'd never have imagined how well I could do on my own. That's the best prank anyone's ever played on me. Says a lot too, considering the Weasley twins. Did you do it so I wouldn't feel nervous?"

"Self-confidence can make all the difference."

"So that's what you do for your Slytherins? Give them all placebos?"

"They would assume I was attempting a mass poisoning, Mr. Potter. Have you given any more thought to what you might like to accomplish in the next hundred years or so with your spotless reputation and bumbling good luck?"

"Yes sir."

"You may as well tell me. I'm afraid neither the unbearable suspense nor the shocking revelation will be sufficient to finish me off- or do you not intend to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts next year?"

"Well, that's far better than Trelawney ever did. I haven't told a soul. Am I really that predictable?"

"All Gryffindors seem destined to become living cliches providing they live long enough. Have you spoken yet to the Headmaster?"

"No. First I wanted to make sure you didn't mind, sir."

"Why would I mind?"

"Well, I thought you might want the position, sir, in which case I won't be applying. It would be just like Dumbledore to give it to me even though you are in every way better-qualified."

"Do put your ill-conceived best intentions away before you take someone's eye out. Do not forget that you are dealing with a Slytherin."

"Oh, I don't think I'll be forgetting that for a while."

"I have sought the position in years past because it was in my best interest to do so. I wanted to use my vast experience to better prepare you to face Voldemort. In ordinary circumstances, using a Time-Turner and doing twice the work teaching two subjects for the same meager pay is not my idea of a wise career decision."

"You would have done all that for me?"

"No. As I said, I was serving my own best interests."

"I heard what you said. Do you always make up selfish reasons to do all these selfless things?"

"Careful. One could enquire the exact opposite of a Gryffindor."

"At least one of us might get an honest answer."

"Which one, I wonder?"

"I did say- might."

"At least my honest answer would not be, that I do not know, Mr. Potter."

"What could be more believable? If I said it, I mean?"

"That the Sorting Hat may have been on to something suggesting Slytherin, perhaps?"

"You do have a good memory. Why wouldn't Dumbledore let you teach DADA? Was it because I was doing so poorly in Potions?"

"Ah, I see. Somehow you are responsible for all tragedies that occur within a thirty mile radius, including Quirrell and Lockhart? Perhaps the Head Master simply found them to be more suitable applicants."

"Don't forget Umbridge, fake Moody, and Pettigrew masquerading as a woman, sir."

"Yes, thank you. I was trying to forget."

"So was I. Must be all that 'Memory Ease Potion' I've been taking lately. If it weren't for Remus and Professor McMagus, I might suspect that anyone without some dark agenda would have been deemed underqualified."

"A certain amount of suspicion can be beneficial to one's health."

"Providing that you had no objections, I had planned to speak to him as soon as I have the results of my N.E.W.T.s."

"Considering recent history, some deranged charlatan could be vying for that position as we speak. Do not wait, Mr. Potter, providing that you are -certain- you want the job. As for your qualifications, I can tell you from experience that battling a Dark Lord is excellent preparation for dealing with children."

"Clearly your teaching technique reflects that philosophy, sir."

"I would like to think so. You realize that you may become the first Defense professor in decades to make it all the way from one year to another?"

"Here's hoping."

"No. Let us hope for your sake that you will not enjoy the run that I will have had teaching here, by the time they get around to prying a cauldron spoon from my cold dead fingers."

"So you do mean to stay? Here at Hogwarts?"

"As the well publicized 'Real Power and Master-Mind Behind the Dark Lord', who unjustly escaped a close, personal, though brief relationship with a dementor, I do believe that my options for alternate employment remain limited."

"Trelawney will get what's coming to her one day."

"I imagine so. She is on my list."

"How long is your list, sir?"

"Not as long as it used to be."

"If the papers should have lauded anyone a hero-"

"There are no heroes, Mr. Potter."

"You're right. But sir-"

"After all that has happened, you are not still expecting the world to be fair?"

"No. You teach that subject as thoroughly as any other, sir."

"If I could have forced you to learn only one thing, that would have been it."

"So what did you do to Trelawney that she hates you so much?"

"I often said she had a brilliant career ahead of her writing fiction. Perhaps she should have been at the Daily Prophet all along, while I missed my true calling in Divination."

Harry was fairly certain that Divination was the only class he had ever taken at Hogwarts that Snape hadn't subbed at one time or another. He tried to imagine Snape in that creepy, half-lit tower surrounded by clouds of incense, informing students they would open their minds and step briskly into the world beyond or deal with Snape's wrath in this one. He figured such a thing, should it ever happen, might overflow the infirmary with some never to recover from the fright.

"Hermione gave Trelawney a broken Muggle clock once. The card read, 'To help predict time! Guaranteed twice correct every single day! Happy Christmas from Third Year.' Trelawney never realized it was a joke, though. That old clock's still up in that tower. I did enjoy her final prediction, that she had to stay out of battle to avoid bringing bad luck for our side. Honestly, when there were first years running around throwing Jelly-legs Jinxes at Death-Eaters, the Prophet calls her hiding up in that tower the brave sacrifice that turned the tide for the Battle of Hogwarts!"

"Had you ever the misfortune of witnessing first hand some of the results of Trelawney's daily wand-work I doubt you would disagree so strongly."

"Really?"

"She is to a wand what Mr. Longbottom is to a cauldron. What ever you think about the journalistic integrity of the Daily Prophet keep in mind that her employent there has improved general safety here at Hogwarts."

At the Leaving Feast, Dumbledore announced that since Professor McMagus was leaving for Rome to accept a job with the Vatican Wizarding Guild, Professor Harry Potter would be remaining at Hogwarts to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts in the coming year. The entire hall cheered, except for Harry, Snape, and most of Slytherin House. He then asked Harry to join the rest of staff at the Head Table. Harry took the empty chair to Snape's right. When the feast was winding down, Dumbledore took Professors Potter and Snape aside.

"Harry, Severus, I am aware the two of you intend, shall we say, to modify your current relationship. I am hoping, old fool that I may be, to talk you into reconsidering that which I fear may be a hasty and flawed decision. Severus, as Harry's mentor, you have done great good that has benefited not only the two of you, but also Hogwarts School. I know if you decide to continue in this role, you and Harry are destined to do many great things for the benefit of the entire Wizarding World. It would be great folly to complicate such a successful working relationship with a romantic entanglement at this time. I'm not saying that there will never be a fine time for such things, I only ask that you wait, when there is still so much more to accomplish in the scheme of things."

"Headmaster, I have spent the better part of twenty years as a double agent at war. For the past seven of those years, I have had the profound misfortune of teaching Mr. Potter. Now, from my work for the greater good, from my work for the benefit of the Wizarding World, from my work in the scheme of things, from my work teaching potions to ignorant, clumsy, apathetic children, I am taking three weeks leave, effective immediately."

"Of course, Severus, you are most entitled! Where will you be going on your holiday, if I may ask?"

"To my rooms. I do not wish to be disturbed for any reason, under any circumstance, what so ever. If the castle decides to fall down on top of me, I request you wait three weeks, or until I dig myself out, which ever takes longer, before letting me know about it. Goodnight, Headmaster. Harry, you are most welcome to visit my rooms at any time."

The amused grin Harry had been wearing turned into his whole smile, meant only for the man who had proved himself worthy, time and time again. Harry took his arm.

"I'm on holiday too, then, Headmaster. See you in three weeks! Lead the way, Severus."

Dumbledore shook his head sadly while smiling fondly at the foolishness of youth, which was now all but running toward the dungeons. By the time he had sat down again and had picked up his goblet, he was convinced that getting Harry and Severus to fall in love, was all his idea, a major victory for the Light, as well as the pivotal part of his own grand design. Well then, Dumbledore thought, as he toasted his own genius silently, all I need do now is to remember the reasons why and then floo call the good news to Sybill Trelawney at the Daily Prophet.

Thanks for reading! All comments and suggestions welcome like a warm blanky in winter.


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